I have a little book, in which I record the small happinesses of each day.  It started a dozen years ago when my life was miserable, as a way of ending my days with thankfulness instead of bitterness.  The misery has long since passed, but the habit of searching for and preserving morsels of goodness remains.

I write a few words in my little book each night, and publish them once a year.  In so doing, I find a perspective that eludes me when I am absorbed in the minutia of my jam-packed life.

Here, then, is my 2018 Gratitude list.  It’s been an epic year:

  • catching the bus
  • luggage straps
  • travel savvy
  • sun in Gibraltar
  • packing light
  • electric blankets
  • borrowed change
  • tomorrow’s not Tuesday
  • neither is tomorrow
  • early bedtimes
  • Zumba endorphins
  • best friends are always best friends
  • a blanket-djellaba
  • kids say cute things
  • even ornery 5th Grade boys can be turned from the dark side
  • with a little recorder magic
  • it doesn’t take long to eat a pizza
  • sun on the clothesline
  • disturbing books
  • quietness
  • uneventful driving
  • books
  • noodles
  • paycheques
  • not needing my purse for the drive home
  • small connections
  • administrators in pyjamas
  • options
  • recorder season ends soon
  • successful fires
  • the goats are learning
  • and so are the sheep
  • despite their constant bleating
  • oranges
  • heaters
  • sufficient sleep
  • two nights in a row
  • meat loaf and cream puffs
  • the end of HOT CROSS BUNS
  • roller blade resuscitation
  • people who drive me to parties
  • and drill holes in walls
  • wheels
  • cute raingear
  • JL is taking over
  • pesto
  • staff meetings that double as dinner
  • not locking myself out of my classroom
  • decisions that can wait until tomorrow
  • mug shots
  • pleasant Thursdays
  • wheels (again)
  • so many homes
  • blankets
  • rest
  • sweaters and scarves
  • an open circle
  • attending to the spirit
  • humour
  • a Mazda 5 with heated seats
  • useful information
  • astute observations
  • Nick can figure things out
  • whatever choice I make will be okay
  • looking like myself again
  • the settledness of having chosen
  • home
  • health
  • heated seats
  • seeing Nathan and Jocelyn and Charmaine
  • eating too much sugar
  • relaxing
  • cozy family time
  • being okay with things as they are
  • being excited about the future
  • believing just a little bit
  • contact
  • literature
  • a full family
  • Spanish hot chocolate
  • Star Wars fun
  • a blessed life
  • bacon with Nathan
  • electronic communication
  • seniors’ discounts
  • pockets
  • puzzles
  • Canada post
  • Twister dodgeball in the snow
  • Dutch pancakes with Joc
  • a gentle release
  • and a warm return
  • friends here and there
  • January rollerblading
  • help with demolding
  • taking it easy
  • soup with the Unruhs
  • being wanted
  • easy fires
  • winning things
  • prep time
  • French time
  • time to reflect
  • French Murdoch
  • Judy’s salad
  • Judy’s second salad
  • Lu.  Everything about Lu.
  • back to Zumba
  • easy meetings
  • peppermint cookies
  • linguistic laughter
  • exercise
  • days that end
  • not feeling inadequate
  • Egyptian yoga
  • direct questions and answers
  • rainboots
  • getting the laundry before it poured
  • getting home
  • mac & cheese
  • the parts of the day when I was by myself
  • L’s alphabet squares
  • admin I can trust
  • SO grateful for my admin
  • not driving into the city tonight
  • fours and fives
  • good humour
  • three consecutive good days
  • I matter
  • it’s the weekend
  • lunch and scrabble with Kenza & co.
  • not having a brain tumour
  • art therapy success
  • not being knocked over by a soccer ball while rollerblading
  • colour charts, points, and the ones who enforce them
  • Susie’s baking
  • adequate lighting
  • adequate heating
  • adequate internet!
  • not hitting dogs, helmets, or policemen
  • finding the outdoor parking lot
  • not getting a ticket
  • being Canadian
  • not being athletic
  • the nicest choir I’ve ever had
  • sometimes I can choose to read English books
  • not cleaning
  • courage to take risks
  • tenacity
  • chocolate cupcakes
  • my 33-kid Carnival Choir
  • Dr. Pepper
  • not having to pick kids up in the MPR
  • my Grecian scarf-lace
  • good cheer
  • accommodating teachers
  • resolve
  • the photocopier still worked
  • I had emergency hard copies
  • and a scantron app
  • not going into the city
  • approaching mastery of the subjunctive
  • j’espère
  • staying dry
  • keen kids
  • I don’t have to know everything today
  • I made a decision
  • fleece upon fleece
  • clean laundry
  • feeling at ease
  • extending mercy
  • eased expectations
  • sun after a week of rain
  • upswings
  • energy
  • optimism
  • TEDiscussions
  • English-speaking thinkers
  • finding the Sketchers store, if not the footwear
  • une grasse matinée
  • efficacious hair dye
  • efficacious D.P.
  • the part of my day before the kids came
  • the part of my day after the kids left
  • a rollerblade buffer
  • remembering French words
  • not having awkward meetings
  • hot chocolate at breakfast
  • salad at lunch
  • kind words
  • a calm mind
  • feeling strong
  • independent
  • articulate
  • confident
  • eventually weird dates end
  • and anyhow at least I didn’t spend my b-day alone
  • warm clothes
  • smart friends
  • half-plans
  • some 2nd grade victories
  • costume progress
  • guards and walls
  • the talking list
  • D A N I E L L E
  • I have found my trusting heart
  • GWA is a caring place
  • I work for amazing people
  • my bed is only one minute from my classroom
  • successful days
  • good doctors
  • good French
  • Careem (the app, not the guy)
  • language school
  • homestays
  • rides to the bus stop
  • not getting lost
  • Temple Neuf
  • grammar book heaven
  • marjane support group
  • warm air and sunshine
  • my choir knows its songs
  • good Tuesdays
  • kids who sing in tune
  • finding a class set of giant blue flags
  • teachers who stay
  • cuckoos who cuckoo
  • feeling calm and in control
  • Paula, who organizes things
  • field and MPR time with the flags
  • cute cuckoos
  • feeling competent
  • things are coming together
  • crises are being averted
  • all is well
  • maintaining sufficient energy until 5:30
  • all is under control
  • concert set-up is done
  • groceries are done
  • my BB is coming!
  • dry laundry
  • getting up earlier than necessary
  • really big naps
  • solitude
  • smooth rehearsals
  • smooth admin
  • diversions
  • Paula, the superwoman saviour of the day
  • night
  • wise counsel
  • calm insides
  • going up
  • concert #1: a roaring success
  • positive feedback
  • back to grammar
  • downtime
  • restedness
  • grammar is quiet
  • French is fun
  • still fun
  • it’s the grammar
  • and I love not being stressed out about work
  • a concert is just a concert, after all
  • I must always remember to be thankful for the teachers who do show up
  • the option of having veggies instead of fries
  • a machine that gives hope
  • successful wire transfers
  • libraries, books, lectures, discussion, thinking
  • finally getting to the pharmacy
  • not panicking
  • sometimes I clean my room
  • I love my students
  • headache helps
  • ravioli
  • not having choir
  • remembering things
  • and forgetting others
  • sound engineers
  • nightmares that don’t come true
  • other people’s capable hands
  • ho hum
  • only two people signed up for my recorder group
  • liberating my car, with ease
  • and perhaps my pen as well
  • leaving events early
  • events where I can talk to only one person
  • closing my door to the world
  • kids who don’t show up for recorder practice
  • new teachers!
  • rejecting rejecters
  • sockless yoga
  • skipping zumba last week
  • Susie’s pizza
  • brave kids
  • four recorders, yoga, and a French dinner!
  • managing my Friday afternoon flu
  • good parking spots
  • a door that closes
  • people to eat burgers with
  • kids who practice
  • relativism
  • as in, my pronunciation is quite good compared to that of other anglophones
  • also, I’m thankful for a cheery house
  • science party leftovers
  • thinking ahead
  • doing things well
  • my Casasawt family
  • my eager students
  • and my bff!
  • tolerable recorders
  • skipping zumba again
  • getting into gradebook
  • a nice walk
  • a nice bed
  • feeling better
  • being early
  • getting better at reading aloud
  • enjoying Grade 8 French class
  • translation services
  • files that are ready
  • my students can read music!
  • salad doesn’t get cold
  • getting the choir stuff done
  • there are worse ways to lose $300
  • at least my expenses are low
  • and I have choir help!
  • green lanterns
  • figuring out certain things about taxes
  • finishing annoying tasks
  • long-awaited pardon
  • bosom buddies
  • people help me with things when they feel too overwhelming for me
  • not being in charge of parent night
  • kids who learn things
  • I saved two musical lives today
  • *locked doors*
  • the internet, which helps me solve my internet problems
  • extra chocolate
  • cancelled yoga
  • calm children
  • kids who can sing
  • hopeful friendships
  • fun with blogs
  • choir help (again) (and again)
  • and more choir help
  • not needing to be perfect
  • (right?)
  • an extra tuna sandwich
  • three bowls of cereal = fuel for a day
  • choirs can re-start the heart
  • my friends are safe
  • it was not me
  • coming out of it
  • declining stress levels
  • mall fun
  • French fun
  • purple powa play
  • FINDING THE PARKING PASS ON THE GROUND
  • thereby escaping Morocco Mall
  • DEVAN BROUGHT ME LEMONS
  • at least the posset was a hit
  • good ideas
  • short workdays
  • the muse
  • and those who care about it
  • so many encouraging words
  • up from the grave she arose
  • support
  • making decisions
  • having choices
  • meeting friendly people
  • 911
  • pampering
  • people who care about other people
  • short sleeves
  • F3s
  • little hens and roosters
  • small conversations
  • receptiveness
  • watermelon
  • easy errands
  • a lounge chair in the sun
  • community
  • hair dye
  • moments of sunning
  • realizing it’s a different day of the week than I thought it was
  • getting to work super-early
  • decent sunsets
  • the parts of the track that are not littered with rubber
  • the kids who got the message
  • cinnamon rolls
  • new days
  • fresh starts
  • hair hope
  • I can cleep now
  • meeting irritants with good humour
  • flexible thinking
  • 35-minute classes
  • when social functions end
  • a pretty purple blanket
  • successful bank and pharmacy runs
  • I don’t fast
  • reasonable rehearsals
  • good-bye, 5th grade
  • smooth transactions
  • no more meaningless promotion rituals
  • le fin d’année
  • orange juice
  • fiction
  • a decent haircut
  • gay men with man-buns
  • being a little less lonely than yesterday
  • decathalon deals
  • red make-up
  • drum circle help
  • nearly uneventful errands
  • zumba helps me dance
  • so does wine
  • somehow I got invited
  • worktime in my classroom
  • being excited about something
  • last day wine
  • finding the signatures and the post-it note
  • onward
  • Ilyas does house calls
  • it was my old phone that was stolen
  • not my real one
  • Find my iPhone found my iPhone so I didn’t have to
  • Good people tried to help
  • I made it to the airport, through the endless, stinky lines
  • and now I am in the promised land
  • with wine
  • safe roads
  • magnificent mountains
  • supermarchés
  • wonderful hostesses
  • perfect farms
  • finding Michel!
  • finding the cave
  • finding the village
  • finding the farm
  • *not throwing up while paragliding*
  • yellow paint
  • funky evening wear
  • hiking gear
  • kindness
  • gloves
  • climbing
  • cow evasion
  • plans
  • bandaids
  • food
  • DP
  • not living in a hell hole
  • the guy who told me where to put the car
  • the guy who helped me find my hotel
  • not having any of my suitcases stolen
  • meeting interesting people
  • being thought worthy of the advanced group
  • new friends
  • the cow exposé saved the day
  • party clothes
  • rescuing my hat
  • a new friend for my collection
  • UBER
  • a true day of rest
  • progress
  • wine on the balcony with Rita and Deborah
  • pleasant social evenings
  • finally figuring out my camera
  • feeling too tired to care about making mistakes
  • snorkeling isn’t scuba diving
  • and swimming isn’t snorkeling
  • a ride to the bus stop
  • a vacant pool
  • a cool, dry apartment
  • a comfortable day
  • seconds at lunch
  • Rita — the coolest cat there
  • reading Camus in French
  • a resounding bravo
  • sometimes a good cry is all that’s needed
  • finishing well
  • ping pong fun
  • it didn’t rain
  • I did the hike
  • I liked the hike
  • and the swims
  • I caught the bus
  • air conditioning
  • pool fun
  • Camus
  • Molière
  • the tests I do well on
  • I have a travel buddy!
  • I think my vision might be returning
  • you don’t need good vision to play petanque
  • being able to see again
  • ditching the Turk
  • finding a bakery
  • renting a bicycle
  • liking my teacher
  • moving
  • moved
  • being a little bit smart again
  • talking like a person
  • bike paths
  • old men in cafes
  • bins that fit in my bicycle basket
  • I am making friends
  • I have found a tutor
  • maybe the universe loves me after all
  • everything’s delightful
  • I found a friend
  • when I get to blog for school
  • oral victories
  • having my own food
  • rafting ended
  • Eliane
  • dinner was short
  • I won’t live at this house forever
  • tea
  • fireworks and friendship
  • asking C1 questions
  • osing le monde
  • moving out
  • living alone
  • not breaking any bones
  • fruits and vegetables
  • a capella kyries
  • no more canicule
  • soon I will go home
  • 20? Really?!
  • Des graves erreurs are not so grave
  • What is this thing called hope?
  • 80%!!!
  • one down, three to go
  • not quite a catastrophe
  • it’s done
  • skipping class to take a nap
  • successful biking/shopping expedition
  • (in a roundabout way)
  • having a best friend in France to miss
  • chez moi
  • the best chez moi of all
  • not feeling stressed out
  • not moving into a new classroom or apartment
  • not starting a new job
  • having three years’ worth of scrap paper
  • getting ideas
  • j’ai réussi!
  • I have a room of my own
  • I have teeth
  • I have a pool
  • mid-day naps
  • smart thoughts
  • quick printing and laminating
  • not feeling friendless
  • stress-free start-ups
  • good first days
  • hammocks and leisure
  • my job was easy again today
  • I am not the only one with these dislikes
  • frank conversation
  • cute haircut
  • cute piano students
  • a comfortable hammock
  • brunch bonding
  • morning matinées
  • going out only sometimes
  • feeling friendly
  • telephone competence
  • playing tourist
  • (staycation)
  • Peterborough connections
  • the world goes ’round
  • progress
  • confidence
  • success
  • rest
  • today I did not have an audition
  • someone eventually brought me hand sanitizer
  • I found the used bookshop!
  • I drive, and speak, with ease
  • good conversation
  • good brownies
  • good books
  • cute kids
  • pasta Mondays
  • social ease
  • flight reimbursements
  • reading French literature
  • noodles
  • back to Trent!
  • with a discount!
  • cat duets
  • changing the butagaz
  • being just right
  • I’m just so good at my job
  • post-city naps
  • pumped-up tires
  • warm hammock weather
  • a walking buddy
  • cool swims on hot days
  • hammock season is extended with fleece
  • sometimes I do nice things for people
  • sometimes I do nice things for myself
  • my job is a great thing
  • re-meeting more cousins
  • hot and cold running water
  • art
  • new cousin-friends
  • safely home after a weekend on the Koehn express
  • tomorrow I will not drive anywhere
  • worrying about the Canary Islands is a First World Problem
  • a little cabin in the woods
  • three meals plus snacks
  • evenings off
  • not being lonely
  • not being bored
  • not being cold
  • not being sick
  • finally finishing typing this list